


Touch Me Like This

by celeste9



Series: 30 Day Star Wars OTP Challenge - Fluff [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Age Difference, Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:24:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey wants to touch Poe but it's difficult to unlearn a lifetime's worth of behavior patterns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch Me Like This

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'caress' in the 30 Day Star Wars OTP challenge I've been working my way through on Tumblr. This one grew to 3k so I figured it deserved its own post! Also this was not actually supposed to be smutty and I blame everything on those damned gifsets of Oscar Isaac in In Secret I might have been staring at too much while I was writing this. Dear lord.
> 
> Btw, one of the previous challenge ficlets is Rey/Poe as well, you can read it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7702771/chapters/17601055).

Sometimes in quiet moments on base Rey would watch the people around her. How they spoke, how they laughed, how they interacted. She would watch pilots slinging their arms around each others’ shoulders, a mechanic slapping someone else on the back, one of the techs splaying her hand over her girlfriend’s hip.

It seemed so easy. Rey didn’t know why it felt so difficult for her to do the same.

Poe sat beside Rey on the bed, still, several inches of space between them, and said, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“But I _do_ want to,” Rey said, frustrated. “That’s the problem, I want to but I… I don’t know how.” She couldn’t look at him, feeling her cheeks burning. She was so stupid. She didn’t know why Poe bothered with her; he could probably have anyone he wanted, and certainly someone who wouldn’t be afraid to touch him. Or to let him touch them.

It took a conscious effort for Rey to reach for Poe, most of the time. Not because she didn’t want to feel him there with her but because it was almost unnatural, after so long on her own. She had yearned for closeness for most of her life but now that she had the opportunity she didn’t know what to do with it. Often when Poe settled his arm around her waist, or pressed his fingertips to the small of her back, Rey would startle, tense, and she knew that was why he took such care to telegraph his movements, to let her know what he was going to do, to not surprise her.

She could kiss him for ages, sometimes, the soft, wet warmth of his mouth on hers, his lips trailing over her skin, his hands gripping her waist, gliding up her sides, but eventually she always thought about it, _what am I doing, what does he want, how do I, why can’t I…_ And the moment would break and she would need to pull away.

“Maybe we should just… I mean, if it happens, it happens. No need to make a thing of it.” Poe shifted the smallest bit closer to Rey. “Don’t worry so much, okay?”

“Don’t worry so much?” Rey burst out. “I’m afraid of having sex with my hot boyfriend whom I love and you think I shouldn’t worry so much?”

Oh. Oh, frag. Rey had not meant to say that, not at all.

Poe, however, was only watching her with that gentle, fond look he always had. “I love you, too, Rey.”

“I know,” Rey said, hugging her knees to her chest.

“And I don’t care if we don’t have sex.”

Rey snorted.

“Rey, look at me.” Poe reached out like he was going to touch Rey’s chin, to urge her towards him, but he stopped, his fingers hovering just by her face. “You know I’m not with you because I want to sleep with you, right? Well, I _do,_ but that would be a bonus, really. If you don’t want to that’s fine. I’ll wait. And if you never want to, that’s fine, too.”

“That’s ridiculous, Poe.”

“Would you rather I were in this only to fuck you?”

“No!” Rey said, wishing she didn’t flush so easily. “It’s only… I want to be with you, Poe. I just don’t know how to be.”

“However you want to do it, that’s all,” Poe said. He went onto his knees, crouching in front of Rey, the mattress dipping beneath him. “Can I?” he asked, his hand only the barest breadth away from her cheek.

When Rey nodded he touched her, smoothing his knuckles, the back of his hand, over her skin like a caress. He was watching her face, carefully gauging her reactions. “I can touch you like this,” he murmured, the pad of his thumb sliding down her neck. “Or like this,” he said, kissing her cheekbone, his lips gliding down to her jaw.

Rey shivered, gripping his shirt and holding him closer, letting her knees splay out so he could settle more comfortably between them. She could feel the warmth of his body and he felt… he felt safe, because it was only Poe, but then her head got in the way again and she pushed him back.

Before Finn had taken her hand on Jakku, she had been unable to remember the last time anyone had touched her, least of all the last time someone had touched her with kindness. She didn’t know how to connect so easily the way Finn did, or Poe, so effortlessly, thoughtlessly tactile. She didn’t know how to connect her mind and her desires, how to let herself have what she wanted without being afraid.

Poe never got frustrated with her, or upset. Now he was only sitting back on his heels and saying, “Maybe we can try something different.”

“Different how?” Rey asked.

Poe drew his lip between his teeth, worrying at it for a moment. “You can just, uh, experiment? Just… just touch me how you want, as little or as much as you feel comfortable with, and I won’t do anything. You can be in control. Does that sound okay?”

Rey hesitated. “You’ll just…”

Scooting over on the bed, Poe laid down on his back. “I’ll just lie here, and you can have your way with me,” he said a bit cheekily, grinning in a way that was familiarly flirtatious and reassuring all at the same time.

So Rey couldn’t help but grin back. This was something she could do. As much or as little as she wanted, all at her own pace, no expectations. She straddled Poe’s hips, setting her hands on his chest, watching him inhale a breath. “This is okay for you?” she asked, just to be certain.

“Yeah,” Poe said. “Yeah, Rey. This is okay for me. Very okay.”

“Okay,” Rey said, determined. She skimmed her hands up Poe’s chest, over the thin material of his shirt, feeling the muscle beneath. She touched as much of Poe as she could reach, keeping the barrier of his clothing in place so that she never felt his bare skin. Chest, shoulders, arms, stomach. She inched herself back just slightly, lightly caressing his hips, his thighs. She watched his breath hitch when her fingers edged closer to his groin, though she drew back again, thinking she could work her way up to that, maybe, feeling the hot flush in her skin again.

Rey resettled herself, her knees on either side of him, sitting over his crotch. Somehow that was all right, that was better, despite the suggestiveness of it, so many layers of clothing between them.

A little bit braver, a little bit more relaxed, Rey pushed Poe’s shirt up, spreading her fingertips across the planes of his stomach. His abs twitched beneath her touch, his stomach lean but just a little soft. Brushing her fingers over the fine, black hair beneath his belly button, she dared to look at his face, his dark gaze on her, his eyes half-closed. He was gripping the sheets and Rey said, “Shirt off for me?”

It took him a second but then Poe said, “Yes,” sitting up so he could pull his shirt over his head. He dropped it over the side of the bed and then fell back against the mattress.

And this was more skin than Rey had ever seen all at once, that soft, golden hue, slightly darker in contrast to Rey’s own skin. He felt soft and smooth beneath Rey’s fingertips, beneath the palms of her hands. Out of curiosity she flicked the tip of her finger across Poe’s nipple, to see how it felt, to see what he would do. He inhaled sharply through his nose and Rey thought maybe he liked it so she did it again.

Then she leaned forward until their chests pressed together, resting her elbows on the mattress astride Poe’s chest. He was keeping still as he had promised, fisting his hands into the sheets again so he wouldn’t touch her.

“Hi,” Rey said quietly, her face close to Poe’s.

Poe’s voice seemed an octave lower than it usually was. “Hi. Feel better?”

Rey nodded. She kissed just below his jaw, mouthed down his neck, because she could. He made this tiny, needy sound that he tried to swallow and she could actually feel him harden between her legs. She thought she should be more embarrassed than she was, but Poe didn’t seem embarrassed, and Rey felt… She felt wanted, and in control, and safe. It was kind of flattering. She was barely even doing anything and Poe _wanted_ her.

“Sorry,” he said, licking his lips. “Sorry, I’m just, I’m trying not to but kriffing hell. Ignore me, okay?”

Laughing to herself, Rey kissed across Poe’s collarbone to the hollow of his throat, then back up his neck to the underside of his chin. She kissed his mouth, slow and sweet, sucking on his lip until he opened for her, deepening the kiss. She smiled at him when she took a breath, rocked her hips until he hissed.

“If I’d known you were gonna be a tease about it,” he said, “I wouldn’t have offered.”

“Yes, you would have,” Rey said, and sat up again. She swung one leg over so she was kneeling next to him and smacked Poe’s arm. “Roll over.”

“Ma’am,” Poe murmured, compliant and obedient. He turned onto his stomach, making that same needy sound, louder this time, when his erection pressed into the mattress. He twitched his hips as if he was trying to get into a more comfortable position.

Rey felt a bit bad for him. Not that it stopped her from enjoying the view, the muscled line of his shoulders and his back, the curve of his ass. Rey was particularly fond of his arms, the way she could see the definition in his muscles with his elbows bent like this. She knelt over him once more, stroking her fingers briefly over the back of his head and through his hair, down to where it was curling damply at the nape of his neck.

She smoothed her hands over the bare expanse of his skin, kissed between his shoulder blades. She crawled slowly down his body, following the bumps of his spine, first with her fingers and then with her tongue. Poe was whimpering quietly, like he was desperately trying not to but couldn’t quite manage it.

Stopping at the waistband of his pants, Rey hesitated. She could stop, she could pull away, this could be it. Only as much as she was comfortable with. She could call this enough exploration for one night, put Poe out of his misery and let him take care of himself.

Except without consciously thinking about it Rey found herself stroking down Poe’s rounded ass, tentative but curious. His pants were thick but he was nevertheless trembling beneath her, his back slightly arched as his forehead bowed into the mattress. Poe was rocking his hips faintly back and forth, seemingly unconsciously, rubbing himself against the bed, the movement somehow fascinating to watch.

Feeling bold, Rey palmed Poe’s ass, squeezed it. He choked back a moan, dragging one hand over so he could stuff it against his mouth. She thought he might be biting his knuckles. It was oddly endearing.

Rey kept a grip on Poe’s hips, bent forward until her forehead was against his back. She breathed in the smell of his skin, the sweat that glistened there, and let herself admit that maybe Poe wasn’t the only one in need of being taken care of. She straddled his thigh, rubbed herself against his ass in search of some sort of friction. She gasped and heard Poe do the same.

“Rey,” he choked out. “I thought… I thought…”

“I thought you said just to let it happen? Not to worry so much?” Rey said, uttering the words into the lean muscles alongside Poe’s spine. “Maybe I’m letting it happen.”

“Oh, fuck,” Poe breathed. “Please, please let me…”

“Yes,” Rey said, and then she was on her back with Poe kissing her so hard she forgot how to breathe for a moment. He had a grip on her wrists over her head, pushing them down, his knee between her legs _just_ so, like he knew what the pressure was doing to her, licking into her mouth over and over while she made sounds deep in her throat she hadn’t realized she was capable of making.

She tried to push back against him. “Poe, Poe,” she said, getting one hand free to claw at his back, to pull at his shoulder. He bit down on her lip, not hard, and then dropped his head down to her neck, panting against her skin. Rey hooked her legs around his waist, trying to get that friction back, while Poe grazed his thumb over her breast through her shirt.

“Tell me what you want,” he said, huskier than she had ever heard him, wrecked and wanting, while he mouthed at her through her clothes until the fabric was damp.

As if through a dim haze, like her mind could barely muster the energy for thought, Rey realized that Poe had been right, he’d been right about everything. All she had needed was to feel comfortable enough to let go, to let herself have what she wanted, to stop thinking so much and just let herself feel. She was so unbelievably turned on that there wasn’t any room for self-consciousness or nervousness or anything else, there was just her and Poe, Poe whom she loved, Poe whom she trusted more than anything.

“I was just,” she tried to say, Poe’s face between her legs, kissing her _there,_ kriff, while she tugged at his hair. “I was just going to say maybe I could, ah, maybe I could sleep here, with you,” Rey managed before losing her train of thought as her brain short-circuited. Frag, he didn’t even have her pants off yet.

“Mmm, that sounds nice,” Poe agreed. He was gazing up at her, his fingers poised to get rid of her pants once and for all. “Did you want to do that now?”

“Fuck, Poe!” Rey exclaimed, smacking his head. “Sleep later!”

He chuckled, looking at her through his eyelashes. “So you don’t mind if I…”

“Do you want me to hit you again?”

“No, ma’am,” Poe said, and yanked Rey’s pants and underwear down her thighs. She wiggled out of them to help and then the blush was back, rising in her cheeks. Here she was, exposed, but Poe was smiling at her like she was beautiful, like he loved her, and she found she didn’t mind.

And then she really didn’t mind because Poe’s _mouth,_ kriffing hell, his mouth and his tongue and his -

So Rey had brought herself off before, had used her fingers, but it had never been like this. She closed her eyes, her back arching, and she was probably pulling painfully at Poe’s hair, her fingers tangling in the sweaty curls, but she couldn’t help it, and she was so sensitive it was almost too much. Someone was making these keening noises and it took her a while to realize it was her, it was _her,_ and she bit her lip until she tasted the coppery tang of blood, rolling through the wave of her orgasm with Poe’s tongue pushed up against her and his fingers buried up to his knuckles.

After a moment, her breathing coming back down, Rey registered that Poe was still kneeling between her thighs, mouthing gently at her stomach where he had pushed her shirt up. She sighed a little and pet his hair, urging him up higher until he kissed her mouth, slow and soft and lazy.

She could feel how hard he was, where he pressed against her, but it was almost like that was a secondary concern, like he would still be content to simply take care of it himself, later, after Rey had gotten everything she wanted. He must have been aching with it, still wearing his heavy pants, but the only concession he made was the tiny, subconscious rolling of his hips.

“Here,” Rey said, fumbling with the fastening of his pants until she could get them open.

Poe caught her wrist before she could touch. His pupils were wide and his skin was flushed, his hair sticking to his forehead, and he said, “No, you don’t have to--”

“Let me, I want to,” Rey said, because Poe wasn’t the only one who could be generous, and damn if she wouldn’t have felt like the most selfish person alive to let Poe deal with this himself after everything. She did want to, anyway; she wanted to make him feel as good as he had made her feel.

So Poe let her curl her small hand around him, moaning at her touch. He wrapped his hand around hers, guided her movements, showed her how to stroke the way he liked, how to get the proper rhythm. Rey liked the silky feel of his skin and the sense of control it gave her, the way she could watch his face while he came apart and know that she had done that, only her.

After, Poe got a washcloth to clean them up, wiping away the stickiness, and then he stretched out lengthwise on the bed beside Rey. “So that’s not exactly how I expected tonight was going to go.”

Rey smiled at him. “Me, neither.”

“But it was good?” There was a thread of anxiety in his voice.

“Exceptionally,” Rey assured him. She kissed him again, felt him breathe into her mouth.

Poe tugged her close to himself, wrapped his arm around her while she tucked herself in against his chest. “This is okay? We can do the, uh, the sleeping together thing now? Like you said?”

Rey had thought this would feel more uncomfortable than it did, the lack of personal space, the crush of his body against hers, but instead it felt strangely peaceful. Maybe halfway through the night she would need some room to breathe but for now…

“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, this is perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on Tumblr [here](http://serceleste.tumblr.com) if you want!


End file.
